Thursday, June 18, 2015

Juvie Jail #2: Shawshank


At the end of today's long day, a small little first grade boy ran up to me to inform me, with a smile, that he would indeed like to "go to jail when he grows up".

In my tiredness, because of said long day, I responded in my best Han Solo voice:

"You obviously haven't seen Shawshank, kid."

"I hate that movie" the young first grade boy replied.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Cell Phone


Guidance lesson topic: "I can cope appropriately with sadness"

Question to fist grade class: "...and why isn't good to spend all day, every day, on your phone?"

Answer from first grade student: "Because you would run out of data"

Response from Guidance Counselor: "sigh"

Electrical Storm Bus Duty


There comes the inevitable portion of the school year when inclement weather plays a role in your professional development.

Take this past week when a sudden spring thunderstorm interrupted all learning activities for the day. After several hours of this, said thunderstorm transitioned into something a little more fierce -- a full blown electrical storm, regularly throwing bolts as fierce as Oden's fury itself. Of course, this all happened on the way to pickup duty when several staff members are out corralling students to the safety of school buses and transport home.

At one point during the height of the electrical storm bus duty, I unsurprisingly received the call that more help was needed out their in the midst o the storm. *Of course* I wasn't getting out of this and so I made my way to the staff closet to search for an umbrella to protect me from Oden's fury. After opening the door and scanning the room, I *of course* couldn't find an umbrella. Finally, after briskly moving items about the room, I found a toddler-sized cartoon umbrella that was much too smaller for my frame. "This will have to do" I resolved to myself and began to run a full Baywatch-style run to the bus lot to save the day.

..within 2 seconds the wind from the electrical storm broke the umbrella, turning it into a metal rod, and exposing me to all of the elements. To the appreciation of several 4th graders around me, I was immediately soaked.

Following bus duty, I approached my principal for solace or word of respite. She immediately commented: "The only thing that would have made that duty better was if you would have gotten struck by lighting"