That's right. Valentimes day. You're not reading that incorrectly.
One of the tasks that I do as an elementary school counselor is incorrect improper speech and phrasing. It is a hallowed task and my duty to pass on to the next generation respectable industrious speech and eliminating anything reprehensible, sluggish, or lethargic.
The day that I find myself doing this the most is the Friday before Valentine's day.
Rewind a bit. The Friday before Valentine's day is one of the most chaotic of the year. It is akin to the day before Christmas Break, Halloween, or the last day of school. The entire day culminates in a huge party full of sweets, soda, games, and Tom-foolery of the worst kind. It's essentially a kiddy Mardi Gras.
It is also the day that a bunch of chocolate-crazed elementary school students insist on pronouncing Valentine's day in a most shuddering and spine-tingling manner: ValentiMes day. "It's not ValentiMes day, it's ValentiNNNNes day!" I shout for the 45th time down the hallowed halls of education.
The next thing I know, I am on my back, in the middle of a hallway, facing the ceiling. Have a lost my mind? Have I had a heart attack? No, I have spilled some of my coffee and slipped on the floor. A student runs up to me, to see if I am okay.
"Happy ValentiMes Day!" he shouts.
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