How Christmas Break is Kinda Like Lord of the Rings

The Journey Continues..

I am not one of those crazy Lord of The Rings people. I have not really read much of the books, I don't have a life-size cardboard cut out of Orlando Bloom and I don't want to name my first son Aragorn. However, I do walk the trail to Mordor every weekday.. until now.

Bam! 2 weeks off. Hits ya quicker than (insert Lord of the Rings quip here).

Of all the stuff that I don't remember about Lord of the Rings, I do remember one specific part: Near the end of the final movie, the heroes have clenched final victory and the movie's protagonist, Frodo, goes away on a boat to a new place instead of just retiring back to the old homestead. The author implies that Frodo has experienced so much.. stuff, that he simply can't return back to the doldrums of his previous life. I'm no Frodo, but I'm finding that being a school counselor is a teeny bit like that. I have gone from no extra time to having too much time. 

Instead of chasing dragons with a sword, I was chasing vomit in "teenager shoes" (see 1st post). I have gone from entirely too much to do, to nothing to do. It's been interesting. Now, don't dog me, I know how to relax and that I need to, but look at the things that I have done in the last 48 hours:

1. Play video games
2. Drink soda
3. Change some light bulbs
4. Vacuum
5. Do some dishes
6. Repeat.

Yes, Yes, there's some more I need to do and will do in the following days, but you get this gist. This kind of transition is a bit strange when there is not a single issue of Kindergarten one-upping, vomit sand, or puppets involved.

Top 10..ish

My students actually watch more Letterman than I do.. I'm usually asleep.

Well.. as the the first semester of the school year winds down and blessed Christmas arrives upon us, I thought it pertinent to contrive a brief listing a valuable insights that I have learned throughout this time.   Mind you, this is not by any means an exhaustive list. I would not be so bold.

10.. When given the choice between coloring with a 64 pack of crayons or a No. 2 lead pencil, students will pick the lead pencil every time.

9.. When given the choice between spilling the 64 pack of crayons vs the No. 2 lead pencil, students will pick the 64 pack of crayons every time.

8.. At the beginning of every POST- recess class, give the students time to dump those darn playground rocks out of their shoes. If you forget, they will end up on your head (I don't want to explain that one. Darn playground rocks).

7.. Teachers can often get away with murder, but heaven help you if you pronounce their name wrong. ("His name isn't DevAn its DevON!!"). If you want to get a student's attention, call them by the wrong name.

6.. Chances are that you will go to bed earlier than your students every night.

5.. There is a difference between an Nintendo DS and a Nintendo DSI. The only thing worse than getting their names wrong is forgetting the names of various Chinese-manufactured items.

4.. In November the 1st graders start to learn how to play the recorder in preparation for the Christmas Program. It takes a special person to listen to 35 recorders trying to play a "C" at 8:00am in the morning.

3.. You will get invited to birthday parties. The student's birthday, parent's birthday, grandparent's birthday.. I even got invited to a great aunt's birthday once. I was honored.

2.. 

The first hour of my last job (social worker): Get to work, put up my coat, get some coffee, check e-mails. Make small talk.

The first hour of being a school counselor: Get to work, put up my coat, check e-mails, make lesson plan copies, go to the bathroom because it's the only chance that you'll get for the next 6 hours, help crying lost 1st grader to class, help vomiting 1st grader to nurse,  find custodian to clean up, deflect hugs from a mosh pit of 1st graders as you run to find the custodian because you are now scared that he is missing, realize the custodian is outside on bus duty and that you will have to clean up the vomit, get over the fact that you have a master's degree and cleaning up vomit, ask the secretary where the "vomit sand" is, ask yourself where you came up with the word "vomit sand", ask yourself if maybe it was that master's degree that gave you the ability to make up such phrases, mentally pat yourself on the back, continue running through the halls (even though you tell them not to), on your way to find said "vomit sand" respond "I know"  several times when the 2nd and 3rd graders tell you that "someone puked".. realize that it has only been the first 15 minutes of your day and you have about 7 and half hours left as you run down the hallways in search of "vomit sand". 

1.. When they tell you that they love you 25 times a day, ask you if they look pretty with their new hair style, tell you that that were doing pretty rough until they talked with you, tell you that they decided to make the right choice instead of the wrong one, it's actually pretty neat.